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same old stuff
09.20.04 (5:27 pm)   [edit]
Havent written in here in a while. hmm. just been playin football lately and doing school. last saturday we played a team called warrior red and we beat them 45 to 6. i got 2 touchdowns that game and a couple extra points. i was supposed to go camping this weekend w/ daniel and kirby but we couldnt go. so after this weeks game and last (we won both) i just went over to kirbys house.

I saw my brothers senior pictures today. they look really good. sometimes i wish he didnt move out :( i miss him.

i want 2pac music real bad!

music for today:
2pac Hail mary
 
uuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhh!!!
09.03.04 (11:03 am)   [edit]
School is so boring. i cant fuckin stand it. today someone was like i was bored last night so i wrote you an essay. I was like WAT THE FUCK!!! who the hell writes for their teacher when they are bored. damn. i dont know how i survive.

Tonight was my first football game. We lost 7 to 13, and on the last play the other team got a touchdown. i was mad! but it doesnt realy matter because its only preseason so.... it was my first game at full back too. i got four handoffs in a row and a first down and then i got an extra point. not the greatest, but it was my first game. i have 2 games in a row on satarday too!

I made weight. 142 lbs.

I been my normal depressed self lately... :- listenin to jimi hendrix cd a lot too. really different from rap, but my dad gave me electric ladyland so i just have been to lazy to take it out. but its pretty good. and its put me in the mood to play guitar so ive been doin that a lot too.

Music for today:
Let me in Young Buck
 
set hike!
08.25.04 (6:42 pm)   [edit]
I had football for the last three days, and one monday, tuesday, wednesday, and friday the week before. today we had a scrimmage against another hawks team (we are also hawks) and that kicked ass. i got a little.... excited tho.. hehe. i have football 2morrow too, but on friday i am going to bower's bday party. umm then on satarday i think i might be going to kaasch's after weigh ins for football.

ummm school has been soooo boring. ugh! its just so loooooong. it jus takes it outta me. and im kinda losing my patience w/ the ppl there, cuz the only person whos not way different than me is parker so hes the only one i really hang out w/.

i have to stay at the wieght i am now ( about 145 ) till satarday morning, cuz if im over it then i cant play fullback and thats really wat i wanna do this year. so i hope ill make it!

Music for today:
T.I., Ludacris, and young buck STOMP!

Young Buck:]
Uh Ohhhhh, Young Buck, T.I., Ludacris
Dirty South, Yeahhh

I Hear Him Talkin', But He 'Bout To Get That Ass Stomp
Watch, I Get The Club Crunk, Im'a Make 'Em Stomp
We Ain't Playin' Wanna Front, You Can Get That Ass Stomp Do It Like Them Dirty South Boys, Do, And Stomp
Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off

I'm Caddillac'n Through The Hood, Sittin' On 24's
T.V's Playin, Rim's Spinin, Blowin' Plenty Dro
Don't Have To Mention, When You Pimpin, You Get Plenty Hoes It's All On You, If You Gon' Trick, Or You Gon' Get Yo' Dough
I Know I Got These Haters Mad, I Can Love That
When You Got Love For The Streets, They Give Ya' Love Back Look In My Eyes, You Can Tell I Ain't Never Scared
Poppin' Them Thangs, I'm Rockin My Chain Anywhere
If You Gon' Represent Your Hood, What You Waitin On?
Security Better Back Up, When They Play This Song
And We 'Bout 50 Strong, Please Don't Make Us Do You Wrong
My Click Of Gorilla's, They Got They G-Unit's On
All Of That Mean Muggin' Really Don't Mean Nuthing
C'mon Take It Outside, Lemme See Sumthin
Wha-Wha-Wha-What Now?
Don't Get Bu-Bu-Bu-Buck'd Down
Stop All This Hatin' Or This Club Gon' Get Shu-Shut Down
Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off
Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off

I Hear Him Talkin', But He 'Bout To Get That Ass Stomp
Watch, I Get The Club Crunk, Im'a Make 'Em Stomp
We Ain't Playin' Wanna Front, You Can Get That Ass Stomp
Do It Like Them Dirty South Boys, Do, And Stomp
Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off
Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off
Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off

[T.I.:]
Aye, A 100 Karots On The Chest, I'm So True To This
Task Force Got My Vest, I Got A New Bitch
Fans Hate And Talk Shit, But I'm Too Legit
A Million Dollars At A Time, Till Im Super Rich
Pimp Squad, G-Unit, Fuck Who You Get
Ask Your Neice's And Nephew's, I'm The Shit
Real Niggas See The Diffrence Between You And This
Me Gettin Beat Down?, Thats Ludacris
My Name Rang From The Streets, And Slang In My Caddyville
Nigga Are You Gettin It Rodney Dangerfield?
No Respect, Im'a Bet, You Can Bet That
I Caught Some Cases, But It's Just A Minor Set Back
And If I Have To Do Some Time, I'll Be Right Back
With Some Thighs, And Some Tri's And A Six Pack
We Hit The Door, Watch All The Pussy Nigga Get Back
They Know We Can Do It Like The Road, But You Ain't With That
You Know Who Make That Track Bump, Like To Keep It Crunk
It's Chopper's Hit Ya Ass, You'll With Ya Got Your Ass Stomp'd

[Young Buck:]
I Hear Him Talkin', But He 'Bout To Get That Ass Stomp
Watch, I Get The Club Crunk, Im'a Make 'Em Stomp
We Ain't Playin' Wanna Front, You Can Get That Ass Stomp
Do It Like Them Dirty South Boys, Do, And Stomp
Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off
Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off
Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off

[Ludacris:]
Muthafucka, I'm A Monster In This Game, Similar To The Lachness
My Rhymes Is Nappy Rooted, Sum Verces Gotta Process
The Truth In This Booth, Ain't No Doubt When I'm Rappin'
If I Say It, I've Eather Done It, Or It's 'Bout To Happen
When I Pull Up In The Louis Truck On 26's, People Dumb Out
If Lifes A Craps Game, I'm Rollin' 7's On The Come Out
These Rapper's Think I'm Ig-nent, Love Sayin' My Name
Cuz Maintainin My Fish Tank, And They House, Cost The Same
Ask Me, I'd Say I Made It, And It Sure Wasn't Luck
Cuz Hustler's Relate To Me, And Some Are Younger Than Buck
You See I'm Married To My Music, But We Got A Prenupt
So If That Bitch Don't Act Right, I'm Still Gettin My Cut
My Deals Never Get Screwed, My Contracts Practice Abstinence
I'm Masterin This Program, Hazin' These Undergraduates
So, Pimpin' Be Easy, Quit Catchin' Feelings
Cuz You Worth A Couple Hundred Grand, And I'm Worth Millions
Nobodys Thinkin' About You, Plus Your Beats Ain't Legit
So Please Stay Off The T.I.P. Of My Dick

[Young Buck:]
I Hear Him Talkin', But He 'Bout To Get That Ass Stomp
Watch, I Get The Club Crunk, Im'a Make 'Em Stomp
We Ain't Playin' Wanna Front, You Can Get That Ass Stomp
Do It Like Them Dirty South Boys, Do, And Stomp
Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off
Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off
Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
 
GRRRR!!!
08.18.04 (5:54 pm)   [edit]
Today was my first day of school. It was boring as fuck! All we did all day was talk about discipline and dress code and homework and stuff. it was the looooooongest day! but i guess it will be better as i get through the year, because i have to super easy electives each semester so... They even gave me homework today :x

We had football practice today... but when we got to the field it was raining and lighting like crazy so we had to call it off. I havent played in sooo long! since like thursday... and now im mad cuz i wanna play really bad.

My step family stresses me out. Just everything they say makes me mad!! and today i was downstairs watching tv and my stepsister came down and asked me when i was gonna be done and i said that i would be a while and she lwas like about to cry so i had to go into my room!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

I have to lose 3 pounds by the 28th!!

Music for today:
hard times by ludacris
 
:-/
08.13.04 (11:48 am)   [edit]
Me and candice broke up yesterday. i havent really talked to her yet but phillips told me last night at football that she said that she didnt want a boyfriend. i was mad... not at her really... just everything building up. it just gets to me. o well i guess :?

i havent really done much today. it's my football coaches b-day and my dad said he was gonna come over here but he hasnt yet. i'll probably go to the movies tonight but i donno with who yet. probably parker and maybe someone else if they want to come.

We start hitting with pads on monday. i really need to fucking hurt someone too, so that will help i think. then on friday my whole team is gonna go to invesco field for the fame game and we're going to get to be ball boys :)

music for today:
rap game d12, eminem, 50 cent
 
maybe...
08.10.04 (5:47 pm)   [edit]
Today was boring... i got up at like 10 cuz i spent the night at phillips house then i walked home and took a shower. and thats pretty much it. except later we had our first football practice. but it got rained out! that made me mad :x

umm i spent like the last 5 days except for sunday at philips house. haha i dont wanna go home i dont like staying home nemore. school starts soon. i dont wanna go back! at all.

umm friday after i went to the movies i went over to phillips moms house and we went swimming at like 1 in the morning but we got kicked out.. then the next morning we went over to his dads house. and i spent 2 nights over there. then i came home on sunday but then i went back over there on monday and stayed 1 more night.

on friday i met this girl candace and i was w/ her on friday night and satarday and then sunday i asked her out and she said yes :) then i saw her again on monday.
i like her a lot! i hope it works out.

music for today:
2pac thugz mansion

 
Poem
08.05.04 (4:12 pm)   [edit]
I cry sometimes,
When im alone at night,
Bitter thoughts bringing tears,
Bringing back happy memories from the years,
Searching for answers,
A sign to boost hope,
But the signs only splinter,
Into thousands of demonic lies,
Unhinging my mind, breaking the ties,
The confusion overwhelming.

Thats my poem... wasnt in a super mood, so i wrote.

I just heard the stupidest fuckin thing on the radio. There was this like 1000 lbs. lady that couldnt find a bed to fit her size so she wrote to president bush and he bought her a bed. omg thats so dumb! he wont give $ to schools or starving ppl but he'll buy a fatass lady who is going to die in about a year neway a bed??!?!?! wat kinda shit is that!?

This whole world is crazy....
 
It's over
08.05.04 (8:04 am)   [edit]

Today was my last day of weight lifting. it was hard! i swear i sweated off three lbs! neway i donno wat im gonna do today... las night i went to football. it was super. we did this one drill where it was five on five. when i was on offense i was the running back and i got a touchdown! woop! then on defencse i was linebacker.. but they got a touchdown too :-. o well.


umm i think thats all for this morning kids. so ill post later.


Song of the day:


F.I.L.A by lil scrappy!!

 
finally....
08.02.04 (6:07 pm)   [edit]
today was fun i gues... i went to the mall w/ aprker today. it was cool. i bought a poster of 2pac and i put it right above my door. it looks good. i looked for the cd Until the End of Time by him but they didnt have it except for the edited one. i cant find it newhere. if neone knows where to get it tell me plz. thanx :-D

i had weight lifting this morning. it was good.... i did legs, then squats, then bench.... umm then i jus came home until i went to the mall. this is the last week of weight lifting :- i wish i could do it all year cuz its a good program.... but owell ill do it all year in highschool.

then today i went to football. we didnt do much hitting, but o well. its football at least.

the best song i heard today:
Cadillac pimpin by youngbloodz

i just got this fuckin stupid thing about aim that says ill be charged if i dont send it to 20 ppl:

Dear AIM users,

Because of our overloading of our servers, we are being forced to extract our non-active AIM users. Because this is a free service, AOL has exceeded the budget for the AIM service. We are asking that you send this exact message to 20 other AIM users to ensure us that you're an active AIM user. Our system tracking devise will pick up this message to keep you on our active list. You have 72 hours to complete this task or your service will be cancelled immediately. Starting August 10, 2004 we will be charging a small fee for registering of a screen name for AIM. Thank you for your time and for using AOL or AIM.

Sincerely,
Mark Jenkins
AOL Time Warner

they probly wont even charge, theyre jus sayin it to make us send it to 20 ppl.... stupid motherfuckers
 
home sweet home....
08.01.04 (7:54 pm)   [edit]
I got back from breckenridge today... it was much better than i thought. yesterday we went rafting on the nebraska river. that was awesome. Kirby and Daniel came with too, which made the trip much much better. then when we got home we went to town and i bought a shot glass and a poster that has this girl w/ a red bra on and it says:
"G.O.A.L.S."
focus on your goals
but don't get caught focusing

just thought it was funny.........

then when we got home we went into the hottub and looked at the stars and the mountains. it was pretty cool. daniel and kirby are funny motherfuckers. umm then the next day we drove back down to denver and went to elitches. it was pretty fun.

when i got home today i started playing my guitar but the goddamned string broke... and i dunno how to fix it
:( o well ill figure it out.

im in a pretty good mood tonight. i dunno how long that'll last but at least im alright now.

Three 6 mafia is my favorite music ever. idk why but i guess i jus like wat they talk about and the way they put their music together. crunchy black is my favorite ;)

best song i heard today:
They Bout To Find Yo Body
"They Bout To Find Yo Body"
In earlier news, the police still haven't found three well known rappers
formerly employed by Hypnotize Minds - they're asking if you have any
leads or any information about where these rappers may be
Please contact 528-CASH

[Juicy "J"]
Yo mami an yo pops man they 'bout to find yo body
The snitcher and the cops man they 'bout to find yo body
The ambulance and morgue man they 'bout to find yo body
Lay out on the floor man they 'bout to find yo body

[Crunchy Black]
One, two, here I come foo
Three, four, kickin' in the door
Five, six, rob a nigga quick
Seven, eight, get away straight
Throughts cut guns shot, wounds broke bones
Plagues diseases warclones and ozones
Playa depleting, go a heating, west now
Everynight on the news under the murder trails

[Project Pat]
He grew up as a rowdy motha fucka, he didn't give a shit
Give my black ski mask and gun and a doh to kick
Grown watchin' frown put the tone underneath your chin
You know Project Pat is there your nigga down to make some fizz

[DJ Paul]
From the uterus to the funerals
I'ma keep my crown
Bitch I ain't from England
But my money still come in pounds
Lost a couple of members for the better
Still we hold it down, meet up on the
Bees on the ground from a .40 round put 'em down

[Juicy "J" X2]
Yo mami an yo pops man they 'bout to find yo body
The snitcher and the cops man they 'bout to find yo body
The ambulance and morgue man they 'bout to find yo body
Lay out on the floor man they 'bout to find yo body
 
booooooring
07.26.04 (8:31 pm)   [edit]
I had football today. it wasnt bad, but it was really fuckin stupid, we had to stay inside for like an hour before we could go hit b/c it was raining and the coaches didnt have any fuckin nuts so he did some of the shit in the gym. but then we went outside... and i went to the linebacker part so i got to hurt this little motherfucker... it was funny i guess.

this summer is fucking gay now.... i can't do nething cuz my dad always works and my mom cant drive.... so im stuck at home all day.... thats why im in a bad mood sometimes... cuz i stay pent up in my house all god fuckin damned day. i wish this summer would get better, because before i know it school is gonna start and that will suck dick, but i can never find neone to do nething with, so i guess im stuck here for now :-

best dong i heard today: Life goes on 2pac (the one on my blog)
 
this is me ;)
07.22.04 (10:29 am)   [edit]
hey i got another one its better :wink:

1. Made out with anyone: yes
2. Ran away: just a couple houses down
3. Pictured your crush/girlfriend naked: o yea all the time :wink:
4. Actually seen your crush naked: nope...
5. Broken someone's heart: i hope not
6. Been in love: i think
8. Cried when someone died: of course
9. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: yea
10. Broken a bone: no
11. Drank alcohol: yes
12. Lied: hell fuckin yes

WHICH IS BETTER
13. COKE OR PEPSI: coke
15. GIRLS OR GUYS: girls!
16.FLOWERS OR CANDY : Flowers
17. SCRUFF OR CLEAN SHAVEN: im clean
18. QUIET OR LOUD: mostly loud, but quiet at times
19. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: brunettes
20. TALL OR SHORT: medium
22. PANTS OR SHORTS: shorts

WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
23. WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: smile, body, personality
24. LAST PERSON YOU SLOW DANCED WITH: ummm cant member
25. WORST QUESTION TO ASK: i dunno

THE LAST TIME
26. SHOWERED: this morning
27. HOOKED UP: ummm in indiana. Whitney koudre *wink*
28. HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX: maybe a week ago

WHAT IS
29. YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM: dont have one
30. PERSON YOU HATE MOST: not really sure
31. THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY: fixed my blog cuz it fucked up

FAVORITES
32. COLOR: green
33. MOVIE: 8 mile
34. BOOK: ummm the walking dead...
36. JUICE: apple
37. CAR: cadillac!!!!!!
38. ICE CREAM: vanilla
39. HOLIDAY: ummm
40. SEASON: summer
41. BREAKFAST FOOD: waffles

BEST
43. COLOGNE: polo.... or at least its my fav.
44. PERFUME: i dont really know
46. ROMANTIC MEMORY: dont wanna tell :oops: :lol:
47. MOST RECENT ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: it will all get better

HAVE YOU:
48. Fallen for your friend? yeah... well kinda
49. Made out w/ JUST a friend?: yea
50. Been rejected?: in a way.
51. Been in love?: im not sure
52. Been in lust?: ummm yes!
53: Used someone?: i dont think so
54: Been Used?: yes
55. Cheated on someone?: no
56. Been cheated on?: i think
57. Been kissed?: yes
58. Done something you regret?: yes

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...
59. You touched?: umm dont member
60. You talked to?: jaimie
61. You hugged?: dont member
62. You instant messaged?: dan hammack
63. You kissed?: whitney koudre :wink:
64. You had sex?: virgin
65. You yelled at?: myself
66. You laughed with?: parker
67. Who broke your heart?: i wont tell
68. Who told you they loved you?: my motha

DO YOU..
69. Color your hair: yea
70. Have tattoos?: no
71. Have piercings?: no
72. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both ?: no
73. Own a webcam?: no
75. Ever get off the damn computer?: sometimes
77. Habla espanol?: un poco
78. Quack?: huh?

HAVE YOU/DO YOU/ARE YOU...
79. Stolen anything?: no
80. Smoke?: no its fuckin gross
81. Schizophrenic?:ha ha i dont know
82. Obsessive?: no
83. Compulsive?: wha?
84. Obsessive compulsive?: haha i donno
85. Panic?: sometimes
86. Anxious?: sometimes
87. Depressed?: sometimes
88. Suicidal?: sometiems
89. Obsessed with hate?: nope
90. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: when i am suicidal i guess
91. Dreamst seeing them?: no
93. Can you do anything freakish with your body?: wat
94. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: u tell me
95. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: maybe
96. Would you marry for money?: no
97. Have you had braces?: no
98. Do you like hairy backs?: wat the fuck?
100. Could you live without a computer?: probly not
101. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc.?: aim
102. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 100 sumthing
103. If you could live in any past, where would it be?: i owuldnt
105. What is your favorite fruit?: pear
106. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: wheat
107. What is your favorite place to visit?: indiana
108. What is the last movie you saw?: held up
109. Do you kiss on the first date?: sometimes
110. Are you photogenic?: wat is that
111. Do you dream in color or black and white?: color
114. Do you have any dimples?: yes
115. Do you remember being born?: no
116. Why do you take surveys?: cuz im a loser
117. Do you drink alcohol?: not a lot
118. Did you like or do you like high school?: not there yet
119. What is the best accent?: mine!
120. Who do you want to kiss?: the perfect girl
121. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: sunset
122. Do you want to live to be 100?: no
124. Do you or have you played with a ouija board? wats that
125. Are you loyal?: Yes
126. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: yes
127. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: off
128. Do you have frequent nightmares?: nope
129. Do you like your nose?: yep
130. Do you think you can draw well? kinda
131. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasnt real? 8 or 9
132. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: 1
133. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?:i dont have a choice
134. Do you write poetry?: yea
135. Do you snore?: sometimes
136. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: front and sides
137. dog/cat?: dog
138. Do you lick stamps?: no
139. Do you use an electric can opener?: no
140. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?: no
141. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: emotional
142. Favorite TV show?: chappeles show
143. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed: yea
144. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?: piano
145. Are you a sex addict?: No
146. Do you know someone who has cancer?: yea
147. Do you like to argue?: yes
148. Do you hunt?: nope
149. Do you like fast food joints: not really
150. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum: zoo baby!
151. Do you have a middle name?: Yes
152. Are you basically a happy person?: i dunno
153. Are you tired?: nope
154. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: no
155. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?:yea
156. How many phones do you have in your house?: jus 1 at this house
157. How long is your hair?: to my ears
158. Do you get along with your parents?: most of the time
159. What color of eyes do you prefer?: green or blue or brown

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU....
221. Smiled?: jus now
222. Laughed?: jus now
223. Cried?: couple nights ago
225. Danced?: umm jus now
226. Were sarcastic?: to myself... jus now
227. Kissed someone? 2 weeks ago
228. Talked to an ex?: right now
229. Watched your favorite movie?: couple months ago
230. Do you own any plaid clothing?: no
231. Do you own Converse shoes?: nope
232. Do you own Saucony shoes?: ... watr those
233. Do you own old school Nikes?: nope
234. Do you wear tight pants?: yeah sometimes
235. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: yea.. on the pockets

IN THE LAST DAY HAVE YOU:
237. Been mean: Yes
238. Been sarcastic: Yes
239. Met someone new: Yes
240. Missed someone: Yes
241. Hugged someone: umm no
242. Fought with your parents: yes
243. Wished upon a star: no but good idea
244. Laughed until you cried: no
245. Played Truth or Dare: no
246. Watched a sunrise/sunset: yes
247. Went to the beach at night: no
248. Spent quality time alone: yea
249. Read a book for fun: no
250. Are you lonely: Yes
251. Are you wearing your pajamas?: no
252. Are you talking to someone online: yes
255. Boxers or Briefs: boxers
256. Long or Short hair: long
257. Tall or Short: medium
260. Tan or Fair: medium or tan
263. Athletic or Nerdy: doesn't matter

i am really bored....
 
bi polar
07.22.04 (10:02 am)   [edit]
Every time one little thing goes wrong, i go fuckin crazy. i don't know how to control my emotions so i do stupid fuckin shit all the time. i broke this laundry basket thing or watever today. it was like made out of woven wood and i got furstaded and broke part of it... its not really a big deal tho i guess....

The girl who i liked before... her bf dumped her and i thought she started to like me again and i got all excited but i guess she doesnt... she still likes her old bf. but idk i might be wrong..... o well......

Sometimes i feel like nobody truly loves me..... like really feels for me deep down. my parents maybe, but they dont really know who i really am i guess. maybe it's cuz i'm the way i am right now, but i dont know.

I heard this new song but i dont remember wat it was called. it was by young buck, T.I., and ludacris.

 
this'll be tough
07.19.04 (11:14 am)   [edit]
this morning i had weight lifting. it was hard b/c it was the first time i'd lifted nething for like 2 weeks. hehe but i survived. when we got there the we all went into the team room.... just the players... no coaches. it was because three of the kids there got charged with MIP's (minor possession of alcohol) they didnt get punished... all they had to do was stand up and admit they did it. then the whole team made a pact that noone would drink from tonight until the end of the football season..... even tho im not playin for chapparal (the school) until next year, it still counts for me i guess. i think i can do without alcahol for a couple months.... plus i love the game enough to make that kind of sacrafice.

Today was really fucking boring. when i got home all i did was sit around on my ass. i havent seen ne of my friends for like 3 weeks. i think i already said that but still.... this thing w/ my mom and not being able to drive sucks fuckin dick. it feels like my whole fuckin summer is going down the goddamn drain because i never do nething and theres only like 4 weeks left. ugh.

i have to go to my dad's today. i really can't stand my fucking stepsisters. my dad has no idea how much patience i fuckin have for them. sumtimes i just want to fuckin cuss them out. and another thing.... i accidently said the word faggot in front of my dad and he chewed me out. my dad doesnt fucking know me. i wish he could just understand who i really am. :evil: sometimes i just want to leave his house. its terrible there. all i have to do is sit in my room. and thats all i do do. and i have no way of talking to nebody except for the phone because there is no computer for me to use except the one upstairs where everybody else is. ugh... o well

Best song i heard today:
Jesus Nightlight by eve 6
 
butterflies
07.18.04 (7:46 pm)   [edit]
im not good so dont make funna me :oops:

does noone care
that i feel all this despair
about the thoughts that reside,
in the depths of my mind,
it feels like this burden crushes me,
sometimes i feel up to my neck in sorrows,
and thats when i hope not to see tomorrow,
a cut wrist can lead to a slit throat,
tragedy could be at my fingertips,
i hope it skips,
i dont want to say goodbye,
to the sanity i hold inside,
but these butterflies bring hell,
so i keep pent up in a shell,
when will they leave?

 
long and hard ;-)
07.18.04 (5:13 pm)   [edit]
Today wasn't the greatest. I went to work for my dad from 1 till like 5. super boring. then i came home and now im just chillin. i wan't it to rain. it looks like it might but i can still see the sun. the sunset is cool tho. (hehe dont make fun of me)

Im feelin alright right now, but i hope my mood doesnt swing the other way later tonight.

im goin to my dads house tomorrow. dont really feel like it. not in the mood for him. whenever he talks to me on the phone he always ends up taking so much time. haha he talks to much :-P

i have football on wednesday, thursday, and friday night this week. im happy but that means i also cant do nething w/ nebody this week...... i havent seen ne of my friends in like 3 and a half weeks :x i guess it will be fun tho, cuz its a full contact camp at ponderosa. and my pants are awesome. they're bright yellow ;-)

2pac is one of the greatest poet's ever in my opinion.

Song of the day:
Brenda's got a baby by 2pac

Brenda's Got A Baby
Brenda's got a Baby
Brenda's got a Baby

I hear Brenda's got a baby
Well, Brenda's barely got a brain
A damn shame
Tha girl can hardly spell her name
(That's not her problem, that's up ta Brenda's family)
Well let me show ya how it affects tha whole community
Now Brenda never really knew her moms and her dad was a
junky
Went in debt to his arms, it's sad
Cause I bet Brenda doesn't even know
Just cause your in tha ghetto doesn't mean ya can't grow
But oh, that's a thought, my own revelation
Do whatever it takes ta resist tha temptation
Brenda got herself a boyfriend
Her boyfriend was her cousin, now lets watch tha joy end
She tried to hide her pregnancy, from her family
Who didn't really care to see, or give a damn if she
Went out and had a church of kids
As long as when tha check came they got first dibs
Now Brendas belly is gettin bigger
But no one seems ta notice any change in her figure
She's 12 years old and she's having a baby
In love with tha molester, whos sexed and crazy
And yet she thinks that he'll be with her forever
And dreams of a world with tha two of them are together,
whatever
He left her and she had tha baby solo, she had it on tha
bathroom floor
And didn't know so, she didn't know, what ta throw away and
what ta keep
She wrapped tha baby up and threw him in tha trash heep
I guess she thought she'd get away
Wouldn't hear tha cries
She didn't realize
How much tha tha little baby had her eyes
Now tha babys in tha trash heep balling
Momma can't help her, but it hurts ta hear her calling
Brenda wants ta run away
Momma say, you makin' me lose pay, tha social workers here
everyday
Now Brenda's gotta make her own way
Can't go to her family, they won't let her stay
No money no babysitter, she couldn't keep a job
She tried ta sell crack, but end up getting robbed
So now what's next, there ain't nothin left ta sell
So she sees sex as a way of leavin hell
It's payin tha rent, so she really can't complain
Prostitute, found slain, and Brenda's her name, she's got a baby

Baaaaaaaaby


every song that he writes has some meaning to it. hes got some pretty deep lyrics.
 
damn it
07.17.04 (11:27 am)   [edit]
nothing fuckin goes right. goddamnit. i went to the store and i had like a bunch of things i wanted to buy and none of it was fuckin there. then i went to another store and tried to find more shit and it wasnt there and then i went to refill my moms porpone thing and then they wouldnt do it b/c i didnt have the right one. goddamnit nothing has gone right forever!

i have incredible anger problems. whenever something sets me off i cant control myself. i broke the arm rest of mfy computer chair last night cuz got mad and i flipped it over and it just came off.

i dunno wat to do
 
home sweet home
07.16.04 (10:49 pm)   [edit]
hey every body. i just got home today from my uncles house in indiana. it wasnt that bad, but i got homesick. i hung out w/ my older cousin blaine and we jus cruised around most the time........ i also went to an eric clapton concert. that was awesome, even tho i dnot really like that kinda music. hehehe. will i dont have netthing else to say so ill post later.

it turns out that jaimie the girl i liked has a bf now and she was just leading me on. made me pretty fuckin mad. but i guess it doesnt really matter..... i still love her to death cuz shes my really good friend.

best song i heard today:
Just the two of us by Eminem
 
Movies....
07.02.04 (8:55 pm)   [edit]
i went to the movies tonight. saw harry potter. mighta been the dumbest shit ive seen in a long time. i was w/ parker and jaimie logan. i had my arms around jaimie n stuff later in the movie cuz i like her a lot and after we left we went to tcby and this other guy beaue was all over her :- i dunno if she likes him or not, but i like her......

my stepmoms family is in town. funny people. my dad's wedding reception is 2morrow. like 125 ppl are coming. hope it will be fun. ummm then im goin to indiana in the morning and probly wont be able to post in my blog for two weeks.... o well leave coments if u want.

Best song i heard today:
Stat Quo Problems
 
*hum hum*
07.01.04 (4:26 pm)   [edit]
Im crazy bored! im goin to indiana on sunday so i probly wont be able to write in my blog until the 17th :( mmmm but i guess it will b fun. today i did absolutely nothing! i packed my stuff for my dads house. then i went over there and played my guitar for a lil while. then i went back over to moms house and got my hair trimmed for my trip. shes leaving today, or already left. her and her bf in oklahoma city are goin motorcycle riding. hehe i dont see how that could be THAT much fun. my uncle is comin in today at like 11 pm but i probly wont see him tonight cuz im goin to sleep tonight at my moms house so i have to go there early. i want to see jaimie logan real bad too. i wanna see every1!!! im not gonna se them for at least three weeks :cry: well, i dont have nething else to say so ill post later or tomorrow!

ps...... my sn is bloodhound878 if u want to im me

best song i heard today:
50 cent/g unit my buddy
 
Get on my level!
06.30.04 (7:46 pm)   [edit]
Hey!

Today I worked at parker's reesturaunt. I made $31!! woop! then i came home and i jus vegged...... i was lookin through this magazine and i came across a page that had something that made my day. Grand Theft Auto: san andreas comes out in october!!! Woohoo! those games are really, really funny shit. hahaha! Ummm, on monday, my buddy sean and his gf came over and we went to my dad's house and watched eurotrip. it was hilarious. i think i meight have to buy that movie. then we went to media play way over in aurora and i bought a cd. Trillville and lil scrappy !!!!! *jumps in the air* I've been waitin to get this for a long time. and its awesome too :-D. Then i went to parkers house, we went over to jaimie logan's house and met her and emily g there. we watched part of gothica, but we had to leave. so we went home, i spent the night, and went to work today. now im here and i dont gots nething else to say so ill post later.

Best song i heard today:
Blink 182 Adam's Song
 
Hey!
06.27.04 (3:04 pm)   [edit]
OMG im so bored today..... i did absolutely nothing. Im ungrounded tomorrow tho!! :D i have weight lifting in the morning then im gonna try to find some1 to do something with. Ummm then tuesday im goin to parker's house and wednesday morning we're gonna work again! WOOP! i need the dollars cuz im broke hehehe. dont got nething else to say so..... ill post later!

Best song i heard today:
Cadillac Pimpin by Youngbloodz
 
Rain.......... Rain..........
06.25.04 (8:04 pm)   [edit]
It's raining! WHOOP! :lol: the only bad part of it is my mom cant cook my din din cuz we were gonna have hamburgers but the grill wont start. O well, The rain is worth it. Today i did absolutely nothing! Every body went to the movie theater and i had a chance to go w/ meagan, emily, shelby, and jaimie, but im grounded (FUCK!!!) i wanted to go so bad! but even if i wasnt grounded i dont have a ride, so i dont think i woulda been able to go neway but still, being grounded sucks dick! I think i might like meagan but i dont think she likes me bak :-/ but thatsokay i guess. Emily g. likes me or at least she did last week but i dont like her cuz of some bad things about her. If those things were different i might go out w/ her but...... hmm ill figure it out eventually i guess. neway i just talked to my football coach. hes in mexic w/ pops. dad is gettin marrried tomorrow! im excited for him. im jus kinda think he shoulda brought me but there was porbly reasons he didnt bring me. *shudder*

and im ina a half decent mood tonight. usually at night im all depressed and angry, but right now im fine! woop!
hehe well ill post later or tomorrow.

Best song i heaerd today:
Three 6 Mafia, Money didnt change me

Even tho i didnt know them, i get tears in my eyes still when i think about them sometimes. Rest in piece Micheal Budge, Tony Majestic, And Shawn Student. *tear*

Todd Stanfield: I hope u recover well. Good luck with everything.
 
Anger Management.....
06.24.04 (8:29 pm)   [edit]
Im really mad again tonight. It mostly started when my comp started to not fucking work and then i broke my cell phone a little more b/c im fuckin stupid and.... ugh i dont have a way to let out my anger. i really dont want to do this nemore. i want to be happy :cry: i dont know why i am like this..... its not even all day.... its like my mood swings the opposite way awhen it gets dark (and i have no clue why) and then thats when i get a lil crazy. i always end up hitting something really hard like a piece of furniture or a door or sumthing and its jus gay b/c it jus hurts later.

Music helps too. Lke in my last post isaid i lestened to eminem a lot lately and the shit on that record really helps and i dunno why. Maybe its just cause im an agry person listenin to another angry person. lol ummm triple six is a good one to for my feelings. all about killing i guess.

Best song i heard today:
Victory 2004: 50 cent, lloyd banks, p. diddy, B.I.G., and busta
 
*scratches head*
06.24.04 (11:06 am)   [edit]
Theres this puzzle on the coffee table that mamma is doin and i sit down and of course its so tempting to try and help put it together. That is some haard shit! It's like of this lake and a trail w/ trees everywhere and a church that has a reflection on the lake. Its so confusing. But i got a piece!! wohoo!! *jumps in the air*

shes dont like 50 pussles haah cuz when ishe isnt working (in the basement) thats all she really has to do cuz she cant go newhere. but thtasokay i guess it looks like she enjoys doing them. :lol:

I've been waiting for my XXL magazine to come but it's never there twhen i check the mail. When i subscriebed the card thingy said to wait about 4-6 weeks and i think its been about 4 so i hope it gets here soon.

Im still grounded. That means i probly cant go to the movies tomorrow which sucks ass cuz a lot of ppl wanted me to come. I guess there wont be lots of ppl there because the funeral for the four boys that died last week is tomorrow (may they rest in peace) *tear*

I did a lot more thinking last night before i went to bed. jus about the same stuff. i got really mad at one point and beat the shit outta the dresser in my closet. My nuckles on my hand kinda hurt now, but itll heal i guess :-

i talked to emily male last night guess she really really likes her bf stefan cuz she wont shut the fuck upo about ihim (haha jk emily i luv u)

best song ive heard today:
White America and these other 2 songs by Eminem
(ive been listenin to a lot of him lately )
 


2 PAC - HAIL MARY
Cody's Music Codes