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| same old stuff |
| 09.20.04 (5:27 pm) [edit] |
Havent written in here in a while. hmm. just been playin football lately and doing school. last saturday we played a team called warrior red and we beat them 45 to 6. i got 2 touchdowns that game and a couple extra points. i was supposed to go camping this weekend w/ daniel and kirby but we couldnt go. so after this weeks game and last (we won both) i just went over to kirbys house.
I saw my brothers senior pictures today. they look really good. sometimes i wish he didnt move out :( i miss him.
i want 2pac music real bad!
music for today: 2pac Hail mary
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| uuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhh!!! |
| 09.03.04 (11:03 am) [edit] |
School is so boring. i cant fuckin stand it. today someone was like i was bored last night so i wrote you an essay. I was like WAT THE FUCK!!! who the hell writes for their teacher when they are bored. damn. i dont know how i survive.
Tonight was my first football game. We lost 7 to 13, and on the last play the other team got a touchdown. i was mad! but it doesnt realy matter because its only preseason so.... it was my first game at full back too. i got four handoffs in a row and a first down and then i got an extra point. not the greatest, but it was my first game. i have 2 games in a row on satarday too!
I made weight. 142 lbs.
I been my normal depressed self lately... :- listenin to jimi hendrix cd a lot too. really different from rap, but my dad gave me electric ladyland so i just have been to lazy to take it out. but its pretty good. and its put me in the mood to play guitar so ive been doin that a lot too.
Music for today: Let me in Young Buck
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| set hike! |
| 08.25.04 (6:42 pm) [edit] |
I had football for the last three days, and one monday, tuesday, wednesday, and friday the week before. today we had a scrimmage against another hawks team (we are also hawks) and that kicked ass. i got a little.... excited tho.. hehe. i have football 2morrow too, but on friday i am going to bower's bday party. umm then on satarday i think i might be going to kaasch's after weigh ins for football.
ummm school has been soooo boring. ugh! its just so loooooong. it jus takes it outta me. and im kinda losing my patience w/ the ppl there, cuz the only person whos not way different than me is parker so hes the only one i really hang out w/.
i have to stay at the wieght i am now ( about 145 ) till satarday morning, cuz if im over it then i cant play fullback and thats really wat i wanna do this year. so i hope ill make it!
Music for today: T.I., Ludacris, and young buck STOMP!
Young Buck:] Uh Ohhhhh, Young Buck, T.I., Ludacris Dirty South, Yeahhh
I Hear Him Talkin', But He 'Bout To Get That Ass Stomp Watch, I Get The Club Crunk, Im'a Make 'Em Stomp We Ain't Playin' Wanna Front, You Can Get That Ass Stomp Do It Like Them Dirty South Boys, Do, And Stomp Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
I'm Caddillac'n Through The Hood, Sittin' On 24's T.V's Playin, Rim's Spinin, Blowin' Plenty Dro Don't Have To Mention, When You Pimpin, You Get Plenty Hoes It's All On You, If You Gon' Trick, Or You Gon' Get Yo' Dough I Know I Got These Haters Mad, I Can Love That When You Got Love For The Streets, They Give Ya' Love Back Look In My Eyes, You Can Tell I Ain't Never Scared Poppin' Them Thangs, I'm Rockin My Chain Anywhere If You Gon' Represent Your Hood, What You Waitin On? Security Better Back Up, When They Play This Song And We 'Bout 50 Strong, Please Don't Make Us Do You Wrong My Click Of Gorilla's, They Got They G-Unit's On All Of That Mean Muggin' Really Don't Mean Nuthing C'mon Take It Outside, Lemme See Sumthin Wha-Wha-Wha-What Now? Don't Get Bu-Bu-Bu-Buck'd Down Stop All This Hatin' Or This Club Gon' Get Shu-Shut Down Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
I Hear Him Talkin', But He 'Bout To Get That Ass Stomp Watch, I Get The Club Crunk, Im'a Make 'Em Stomp We Ain't Playin' Wanna Front, You Can Get That Ass Stomp Do It Like Them Dirty South Boys, Do, And Stomp Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
[T.I.:] Aye, A 100 Karots On The Chest, I'm So True To This Task Force Got My Vest, I Got A New Bitch Fans Hate And Talk Shit, But I'm Too Legit A Million Dollars At A Time, Till Im Super Rich Pimp Squad, G-Unit, Fuck Who You Get Ask Your Neice's And Nephew's, I'm The Shit Real Niggas See The Diffrence Between You And This Me Gettin Beat Down?, Thats Ludacris My Name Rang From The Streets, And Slang In My Caddyville Nigga Are You Gettin It Rodney Dangerfield? No Respect, Im'a Bet, You Can Bet That I Caught Some Cases, But It's Just A Minor Set Back And If I Have To Do Some Time, I'll Be Right Back With Some Thighs, And Some Tri's And A Six Pack We Hit The Door, Watch All The Pussy Nigga Get Back They Know We Can Do It Like The Road, But You Ain't With That You Know Who Make That Track Bump, Like To Keep It Crunk It's Chopper's Hit Ya Ass, You'll With Ya Got Your Ass Stomp'd
[Young Buck:] I Hear Him Talkin', But He 'Bout To Get That Ass Stomp Watch, I Get The Club Crunk, Im'a Make 'Em Stomp We Ain't Playin' Wanna Front, You Can Get That Ass Stomp Do It Like Them Dirty South Boys, Do, And Stomp Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
[Ludacris:] Muthafucka, I'm A Monster In This Game, Similar To The Lachness My Rhymes Is Nappy Rooted, Sum Verces Gotta Process The Truth In This Booth, Ain't No Doubt When I'm Rappin' If I Say It, I've Eather Done It, Or It's 'Bout To Happen When I Pull Up In The Louis Truck On 26's, People Dumb Out If Lifes A Craps Game, I'm Rollin' 7's On The Come Out These Rapper's Think I'm Ig-nent, Love Sayin' My Name Cuz Maintainin My Fish Tank, And They House, Cost The Same Ask Me, I'd Say I Made It, And It Sure Wasn't Luck Cuz Hustler's Relate To Me, And Some Are Younger Than Buck You See I'm Married To My Music, But We Got A Prenupt So If That Bitch Don't Act Right, I'm Still Gettin My Cut My Deals Never Get Screwed, My Contracts Practice Abstinence I'm Masterin This Program, Hazin' These Undergraduates So, Pimpin' Be Easy, Quit Catchin' Feelings Cuz You Worth A Couple Hundred Grand, And I'm Worth Millions Nobodys Thinkin' About You, Plus Your Beats Ain't Legit So Please Stay Off The T.I.P. Of My Dick
[Young Buck:] I Hear Him Talkin', But He 'Bout To Get That Ass Stomp Watch, I Get The Club Crunk, Im'a Make 'Em Stomp We Ain't Playin' Wanna Front, You Can Get That Ass Stomp Do It Like Them Dirty South Boys, Do, And Stomp Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off Now Where You From? Who The Boss? Im'a Break Him Off Where You From? Who The Boss? Lemme Break Him Off
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| GRRRR!!! |
| 08.18.04 (5:54 pm) [edit] |
Today was my first day of school. It was boring as fuck! All we did all day was talk about discipline and dress code and homework and stuff. it was the looooooongest day! but i guess it will be better as i get through the year, because i have to super easy electives each semester so... They even gave me homework today :x
We had football practice today... but when we got to the field it was raining and lighting like crazy so we had to call it off. I havent played in sooo long! since like thursday... and now im mad cuz i wanna play really bad.
My step family stresses me out. Just everything they say makes me mad!! and today i was downstairs watching tv and my stepsister came down and asked me when i was gonna be done and i said that i would be a while and she lwas like about to cry so i had to go into my room!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
I have to lose 3 pounds by the 28th!!
Music for today: hard times by ludacris
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| :-/ |
| 08.13.04 (11:48 am) [edit] |
Me and candice broke up yesterday. i havent really talked to her yet but phillips told me last night at football that she said that she didnt want a boyfriend. i was mad... not at her really... just everything building up. it just gets to me. o well i guess :?
i havent really done much today. it's my football coaches b-day and my dad said he was gonna come over here but he hasnt yet. i'll probably go to the movies tonight but i donno with who yet. probably parker and maybe someone else if they want to come.
We start hitting with pads on monday. i really need to fucking hurt someone too, so that will help i think. then on friday my whole team is gonna go to invesco field for the fame game and we're going to get to be ball boys :)
music for today: rap game d12, eminem, 50 cent
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| maybe... |
| 08.10.04 (5:47 pm) [edit] |
Today was boring... i got up at like 10 cuz i spent the night at phillips house then i walked home and took a shower. and thats pretty much it. except later we had our first football practice. but it got rained out! that made me mad :x
umm i spent like the last 5 days except for sunday at philips house. haha i dont wanna go home i dont like staying home nemore. school starts soon. i dont wanna go back! at all.
umm friday after i went to the movies i went over to phillips moms house and we went swimming at like 1 in the morning but we got kicked out.. then the next morning we went over to his dads house. and i spent 2 nights over there. then i came home on sunday but then i went back over there on monday and stayed 1 more night.
on friday i met this girl candace and i was w/ her on friday night and satarday and then sunday i asked her out and she said yes :) then i saw her again on monday. i like her a lot! i hope it works out.
music for today: 2pac thugz mansion
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| Poem |
| 08.05.04 (4:12 pm) [edit] |
I cry sometimes, When im alone at night, Bitter thoughts bringing tears, Bringing back happy memories from the years, Searching for answers, A sign to boost hope, But the signs only splinter, Into thousands of demonic lies, Unhinging my mind, breaking the ties, The confusion overwhelming.
Thats my poem... wasnt in a super mood, so i wrote.
I just heard the stupidest fuckin thing on the radio. There was this like 1000 lbs. lady that couldnt find a bed to fit her size so she wrote to president bush and he bought her a bed. omg thats so dumb! he wont give $ to schools or starving ppl but he'll buy a fatass lady who is going to die in about a year neway a bed??!?!?! wat kinda shit is that!?
This whole world is crazy....
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| It's over |
| 08.05.04 (8:04 am) [edit] |
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Today was my last day of weight lifting. it was hard! i swear i sweated off three lbs! neway i donno wat im gonna do today... las night i went to football. it was super. we did this one drill where it was five on five. when i was on offense i was the running back and i got a touchdown! woop! then on defencse i was linebacker.. but they got a touchdown too :-. o well.
umm i think thats all for this morning kids. so ill post later.
Song of the day:
F.I.L.A by lil scrappy!!
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| finally.... |
| 08.02.04 (6:07 pm) [edit] |
today was fun i gues... i went to the mall w/ aprker today. it was cool. i bought a poster of 2pac and i put it right above my door. it looks good. i looked for the cd Until the End of Time by him but they didnt have it except for the edited one. i cant find it newhere. if neone knows where to get it tell me plz. thanx :-D
i had weight lifting this morning. it was good.... i did legs, then squats, then bench.... umm then i jus came home until i went to the mall. this is the last week of weight lifting :- i wish i could do it all year cuz its a good program.... but owell ill do it all year in highschool.
then today i went to football. we didnt do much hitting, but o well. its football at least.
the best song i heard today: Cadillac pimpin by youngbloodz
i just got this fuckin stupid thing about aim that says ill be charged if i dont send it to 20 ppl:
Dear AIM users,
Because of our overloading of our servers, we are being forced to extract our non-active AIM users. Because this is a free service, AOL has exceeded the budget for the AIM service. We are asking that you send this exact message to 20 other AIM users to ensure us that you're an active AIM user. Our system tracking devise will pick up this message to keep you on our active list. You have 72 hours to complete this task or your service will be cancelled immediately. Starting August 10, 2004 we will be charging a small fee for registering of a screen name for AIM. Thank you for your time and for using AOL or AIM.
Sincerely, Mark Jenkins AOL Time Warner
they probly wont even charge, theyre jus sayin it to make us send it to 20 ppl.... stupid motherfuckers
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| home sweet home.... |
| 08.01.04 (7:54 pm) [edit] |
I got back from breckenridge today... it was much better than i thought. yesterday we went rafting on the nebraska river. that was awesome. Kirby and Daniel came with too, which made the trip much much better. then when we got home we went to town and i bought a shot glass and a poster that has this girl w/ a red bra on and it says: "G.O.A.L.S." focus on your goals but don't get caught focusing
just thought it was funny.........
then when we got home we went into the hottub and looked at the stars and the mountains. it was pretty cool. daniel and kirby are funny motherfuckers. umm then the next day we drove back down to denver and went to elitches. it was pretty fun.
when i got home today i started playing my guitar but the goddamned string broke... and i dunno how to fix it :( o well ill figure it out.
im in a pretty good mood tonight. i dunno how long that'll last but at least im alright now.
Three 6 mafia is my favorite music ever. idk why but i guess i jus like wat they talk about and the way they put their music together. crunchy black is my favorite ;)
best song i heard today: They Bout To Find Yo Body "They Bout To Find Yo Body" In earlier news, the police still haven't found three well known rappers formerly employed by Hypnotize Minds - they're asking if you have any leads or any information about where these rappers may be Please contact 528-CASH
[Juicy "J"] Yo mami an yo pops man they 'bout to find yo body The snitcher and the cops man they 'bout to find yo body The ambulance and morgue man they 'bout to find yo body Lay out on the floor man they 'bout to find yo body
[Crunchy Black] One, two, here I come foo Three, four, kickin' in the door Five, six, rob a nigga quick Seven, eight, get away straight Throughts cut guns shot, wounds broke bones Plagues diseases warclones and ozones Playa depleting, go a heating, west now Everynight on the news under the murder trails
[Project Pat] He grew up as a rowdy motha fucka, he didn't give a shit Give my black ski mask and gun and a doh to kick Grown watchin' frown put the tone underneath your chin You know Project Pat is there your nigga down to make some fizz
[DJ Paul] From the uterus to the funerals I'ma keep my crown Bitch I ain't from England But my money still come in pounds Lost a couple of members for the better Still we hold it down, meet up on the Bees on the ground from a .40 round put 'em down
[Juicy "J" X2] Yo mami an yo pops man they 'bout to find yo body The snitcher and the cops man they 'bout to find yo body The ambulance and morgue man they 'bout to find yo body Lay out on the floor man they 'bout to find yo body
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| booooooring |
| 07.26.04 (8:31 pm) [edit] |
I had football today. it wasnt bad, but it was really fuckin stupid, we had to stay inside for like an hour before we could go hit b/c it was raining and the coaches didnt have any fuckin nuts so he did some of the shit in the gym. but then we went outside... and i went to the linebacker part so i got to hurt this little motherfucker... it was funny i guess.
this summer is fucking gay now.... i can't do nething cuz my dad always works and my mom cant drive.... so im stuck at home all day.... thats why im in a bad mood sometimes... cuz i stay pent up in my house all god fuckin damned day. i wish this summer would get better, because before i know it school is gonna start and that will suck dick, but i can never find neone to do nething with, so i guess im stuck here for now :-
best dong i heard today: Life goes on 2pac (the one on my blog)
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| this is me ;) |
| 07.22.04 (10:29 am) [edit] |
hey i got another one its better :wink:
1. Made out with anyone: yes 2. Ran away: just a couple houses down 3. Pictured your crush/girlfriend naked: o yea all the time :wink: 4. Actually seen your crush naked: nope... 5. Broken someone's heart: i hope not 6. Been in love: i think 8. Cried when someone died: of course 9. Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: yea 10. Broken a bone: no 11. Drank alcohol: yes 12. Lied: hell fuckin yes
WHICH IS BETTER 13. COKE OR PEPSI: coke 15. GIRLS OR GUYS: girls! 16.FLOWERS OR CANDY : Flowers 17. SCRUFF OR CLEAN SHAVEN: im clean 18. QUIET OR LOUD: mostly loud, but quiet at times 19. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES: brunettes 20. TALL OR SHORT: medium 22. PANTS OR SHORTS: shorts
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX 23. WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: smile, body, personality 24. LAST PERSON YOU SLOW DANCED WITH: ummm cant member 25. WORST QUESTION TO ASK: i dunno
THE LAST TIME 26. SHOWERED: this morning 27. HOOKED UP: ummm in indiana. Whitney koudre *wink* 28. HAD A GREAT TIME WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX: maybe a week ago
WHAT IS 29. YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM: dont have one 30. PERSON YOU HATE MOST: not really sure 31. THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY: fixed my blog cuz it fucked up
FAVORITES 32. COLOR: green 33. MOVIE: 8 mile 34. BOOK: ummm the walking dead... 36. JUICE: apple 37. CAR: cadillac!!!!!! 38. ICE CREAM: vanilla 39. HOLIDAY: ummm 40. SEASON: summer 41. BREAKFAST FOOD: waffles
BEST 43. COLOGNE: polo.... or at least its my fav. 44. PERFUME: i dont really know 46. ROMANTIC MEMORY: dont wanna tell :oops: :lol: 47. MOST RECENT ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU: it will all get better
HAVE YOU: 48. Fallen for your friend? yeah... well kinda 49. Made out w/ JUST a friend?: yea 50. Been rejected?: in a way. 51. Been in love?: im not sure 52. Been in lust?: ummm yes! 53: Used someone?: i dont think so 54: Been Used?: yes 55. Cheated on someone?: no 56. Been cheated on?: i think 57. Been kissed?: yes 58. Done something you regret?: yes
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON... 59. You touched?: umm dont member 60. You talked to?: jaimie 61. You hugged?: dont member 62. You instant messaged?: dan hammack 63. You kissed?: whitney koudre :wink: 64. You had sex?: virgin 65. You yelled at?: myself 66. You laughed with?: parker 67. Who broke your heart?: i wont tell 68. Who told you they loved you?: my motha
DO YOU.. 69. Color your hair: yea 70. Have tattoos?: no 71. Have piercings?: no 72. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both ?: no 73. Own a webcam?: no 75. Ever get off the damn computer?: sometimes 77. Habla espanol?: un poco 78. Quack?: huh?
HAVE YOU/DO YOU/ARE YOU... 79. Stolen anything?: no 80. Smoke?: no its fuckin gross 81. Schizophrenic?:ha ha i dont know 82. Obsessive?: no 83. Compulsive?: wha? 84. Obsessive compulsive?: haha i donno 85. Panic?: sometimes 86. Anxious?: sometimes 87. Depressed?: sometimes 88. Suicidal?: sometiems 89. Obsessed with hate?: nope 90. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: when i am suicidal i guess 91. Dreamst seeing them?: no 93. Can you do anything freakish with your body?: wat 94. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: u tell me 95. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: maybe 96. Would you marry for money?: no 97. Have you had braces?: no 98. Do you like hairy backs?: wat the fuck? 100. Could you live without a computer?: probly not 101. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc.?: aim 102. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 100 sumthing 103. If you could live in any past, where would it be?: i owuldnt 105. What is your favorite fruit?: pear 106. Do you eat wheat bread or white?: wheat 107. What is your favorite place to visit?: indiana 108. What is the last movie you saw?: held up 109. Do you kiss on the first date?: sometimes 110. Are you photogenic?: wat is that 111. Do you dream in color or black and white?: color 114. Do you have any dimples?: yes 115. Do you remember being born?: no 116. Why do you take surveys?: cuz im a loser 117. Do you drink alcohol?: not a lot 118. Did you like or do you like high school?: not there yet 119. What is the best accent?: mine! 120. Who do you want to kiss?: the perfect girl 121. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: sunset 122. Do you want to live to be 100?: no 124. Do you or have you played with a ouija board? wats that 125. Are you loyal?: Yes 126. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: yes 127. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: off 128. Do you have frequent nightmares?: nope 129. Do you like your nose?: yep 130. Do you think you can draw well? kinda 131. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasnt real? 8 or 9 132. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: 1 133. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?:i dont have a choice 134. Do you write poetry?: yea 135. Do you snore?: sometimes 136. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: front and sides 137. dog/cat?: dog 138. Do you lick stamps?: no 139. Do you use an electric can opener?: no 140. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?: no 141. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: emotional 142. Favorite TV show?: chappeles show 143. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed: yea 144. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?: piano 145. Are you a sex addict?: No 146. Do you know someone who has cancer?: yea 147. Do you like to argue?: yes 148. Do you hunt?: nope 149. Do you like fast food joints: not really 150. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum: zoo baby! 151. Do you have a middle name?: Yes 152. Are you basically a happy person?: i dunno 153. Are you tired?: nope 154. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?: no 155. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?:yea 156. How many phones do you have in your house?: jus 1 at this house 157. How long is your hair?: to my ears 158. Do you get along with your parents?: most of the time 159. What color of eyes do you prefer?: green or blue or brown
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU.... 221. Smiled?: jus now 222. Laughed?: jus now 223. Cried?: couple nights ago 225. Danced?: umm jus now 226. Were sarcastic?: to myself... jus now 227. Kissed someone? 2 weeks ago 228. Talked to an ex?: right now 229. Watched your favorite movie?: couple months ago 230. Do you own any plaid clothing?: no 231. Do you own Converse shoes?: nope 232. Do you own Saucony shoes?: ... watr those 233. Do you own old school Nikes?: nope 234. Do you wear tight pants?: yeah sometimes 235. Is there more than one zipper in your pants?: yea.. on the pockets
IN THE LAST DAY HAVE YOU: 237. Been mean: Yes 238. Been sarcastic: Yes 239. Met someone new: Yes 240. Missed someone: Yes 241. Hugged someone: umm no 242. Fought with your parents: yes 243. Wished upon a star: no but good idea 244. Laughed until you cried: no 245. Played Truth or Dare: no 246. Watched a sunrise/sunset: yes 247. Went to the beach at night: no 248. Spent quality time alone: yea 249. Read a book for fun: no 250. Are you lonely: Yes 251. Are you wearing your pajamas?: no 252. Are you talking to someone online: yes 255. Boxers or Briefs: boxers 256. Long or Short hair: long 257. Tall or Short: medium 260. Tan or Fair: medium or tan 263. Athletic or Nerdy: doesn't matter
i am really bored....
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| bi polar |
| 07.22.04 (10:02 am) [edit] |
Every time one little thing goes wrong, i go fuckin crazy. i don't know how to control my emotions so i do stupid fuckin shit all the time. i broke this laundry basket thing or watever today. it was like made out of woven wood and i got furstaded and broke part of it... its not really a big deal tho i guess....
The girl who i liked before... her bf dumped her and i thought she started to like me again and i got all excited but i guess she doesnt... she still likes her old bf. but idk i might be wrong..... o well......
Sometimes i feel like nobody truly loves me..... like really feels for me deep down. my parents maybe, but they dont really know who i really am i guess. maybe it's cuz i'm the way i am right now, but i dont know.
I heard this new song but i dont remember wat it was called. it was by young buck, T.I., and ludacris.
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| this'll be tough |
| 07.19.04 (11:14 am) [edit] |
this morning i had weight lifting. it was hard b/c it was the first time i'd lifted nething for like 2 weeks. hehe but i survived. when we got there the we all went into the team room.... just the players... no coaches. it was because three of the kids there got charged with MIP's (minor possession of alcohol) they didnt get punished... all they had to do was stand up and admit they did it. then the whole team made a pact that noone would drink from tonight until the end of the football season..... even tho im not playin for chapparal (the school) until next year, it still counts for me i guess. i think i can do without alcahol for a couple months.... plus i love the game enough to make that kind of sacrafice.
Today was really fucking boring. when i got home all i did was sit around on my ass. i havent seen ne of my friends for like 3 weeks. i think i already said that but still.... this thing w/ my mom and not being able to drive sucks fuckin dick. it feels like my whole fuckin summer is going down the goddamn drain because i never do nething and theres only like 4 weeks left. ugh.
i have to go to my dad's today. i really can't stand my fucking stepsisters. my dad has no idea how much patience i fuckin have for them. sumtimes i just want to fuckin cuss them out. and another thing.... i accidently said the word faggot in front of my dad and he chewed me out. my dad doesnt fucking know me. i wish he could just understand who i really am. :evil: sometimes i just want to leave his house. its terrible there. all i have to do is sit in my room. and thats all i do do. and i have no way of talking to nebody except for the phone because there is no computer for me to use except the one upstairs where everybody else is. ugh... o well
Best song i heard today: Jesus Nightlight by eve 6
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| butterflies |
| 07.18.04 (7:46 pm) [edit] |
im not good so dont make funna me :oops:
does noone care that i feel all this despair about the thoughts that reside, in the depths of my mind, it feels like this burden crushes me, sometimes i feel up to my neck in sorrows, and thats when i hope not to see tomorrow, a cut wrist can lead to a slit throat, tragedy could be at my fingertips, i hope it skips, i dont want to say goodbye, to the sanity i hold inside, but these butterflies bring hell, so i keep pent up in a shell, when will they leave?
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| long and hard ;-) |
| 07.18.04 (5:13 pm) [edit] |
Today wasn't the greatest. I went to work for my dad from 1 till like 5. super boring. then i came home and now im just chillin. i wan't it to rain. it looks like it might but i can still see the sun. the sunset is cool tho. (hehe dont make fun of me)
Im feelin alright right now, but i hope my mood doesnt swing the other way later tonight.
im goin to my dads house tomorrow. dont really feel like it. not in the mood for him. whenever he talks to me on the phone he always ends up taking so much time. haha he talks to much :-P
i have football on wednesday, thursday, and friday night this week. im happy but that means i also cant do nething w/ nebody this week...... i havent seen ne of my friends in like 3 and a half weeks :x i guess it will be fun tho, cuz its a full contact camp at ponderosa. and my pants are awesome. they're bright yellow ;-)
2pac is one of the greatest poet's ever in my opinion.
Song of the day: Brenda's got a baby by 2pac
Brenda's Got A Baby Brenda's got a Baby Brenda's got a Baby
I hear Brenda's got a baby Well, Brenda's barely got a brain A damn shame Tha girl can hardly spell her name (That's not her problem, that's up ta Brenda's family) Well let me show ya how it affects tha whole community Now Brenda never really knew her moms and her dad was a junky Went in debt to his arms, it's sad Cause I bet Brenda doesn't even know Just cause your in tha ghetto doesn't mean ya can't grow But oh, that's a thought, my own revelation Do whatever it takes ta resist tha temptation Brenda got herself a boyfriend Her boyfriend was her cousin, now lets watch tha joy end She tried to hide her pregnancy, from her family Who didn't really care to see, or give a damn if she Went out and had a church of kids As long as when tha check came they got first dibs Now Brendas belly is gettin bigger But no one seems ta notice any change in her figure She's 12 years old and she's having a baby In love with tha molester, whos sexed and crazy And yet she thinks that he'll be with her forever And dreams of a world with tha two of them are together, whatever He left her and she had tha baby solo, she had it on tha bathroom floor And didn't know so, she didn't know, what ta throw away and what ta keep She wrapped tha baby up and threw him in tha trash heep I guess she thought she'd get away Wouldn't hear tha cries She didn't realize How much tha tha little baby had her eyes Now tha babys in tha trash heep balling Momma can't help her, but it hurts ta hear her calling Brenda wants ta run away Momma say, you makin' me lose pay, tha social workers here everyday Now Brenda's gotta make her own way Can't go to her family, they won't let her stay No money no babysitter, she couldn't keep a job She tried ta sell crack, but end up getting robbed So now what's next, there ain't nothin left ta sell So she sees sex as a way of leavin hell It's payin tha rent, so she really can't complain Prostitute, found slain, and Brenda's her name, she's got a baby
Baaaaaaaaby
every song that he writes has some meaning to it. hes got some pretty deep lyrics.
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| damn it |
| 07.17.04 (11:27 am) [edit] |
nothing fuckin goes right. goddamnit. i went to the store and i had like a bunch of things i wanted to buy and none of it was fuckin there. then i went to another store and tried to find more shit and it wasnt there and then i went to refill my moms porpone thing and then they wouldnt do it b/c i didnt have the right one. goddamnit nothing has gone right forever!
i have incredible anger problems. whenever something sets me off i cant control myself. i broke the arm rest of mfy computer chair last night cuz got mad and i flipped it over and it just came off.
i dunno wat to do
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| home sweet home |
| 07.16.04 (10:49 pm) [edit] |
hey every body. i just got home today from my uncles house in indiana. it wasnt that bad, but i got homesick. i hung out w/ my older cousin blaine and we jus cruised around most the time........ i also went to an eric clapton concert. that was awesome, even tho i dnot really like that kinda music. hehehe. will i dont have netthing else to say so ill post later.
it turns out that jaimie the girl i liked has a bf now and she was just leading me on. made me pretty fuckin mad. but i guess it doesnt really matter..... i still love her to death cuz shes my really good friend.
best song i heard today: Just the two of us by Eminem
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| Movies.... |
| 07.02.04 (8:55 pm) [edit] |
i went to the movies tonight. saw harry potter. mighta been the dumbest shit ive seen in a long time. i was w/ parker and jaimie logan. i had my arms around jaimie n stuff later in the movie cuz i like her a lot and after we left we went to tcby and this other guy beaue was all over her :- i dunno if she likes him or not, but i like her......
my stepmoms family is in town. funny people. my dad's wedding reception is 2morrow. like 125 ppl are coming. hope it will be fun. ummm then im goin to indiana in the morning and probly wont be able to post in my blog for two weeks.... o well leave coments if u want.
Best song i heard today: Stat Quo Problems
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| *hum hum* |
| 07.01.04 (4:26 pm) [edit] |
Im crazy bored! im goin to indiana on sunday so i probly wont be able to write in my blog until the 17th :( mmmm but i guess it will b fun. today i did absolutely nothing! i packed my stuff for my dads house. then i went over there and played my guitar for a lil while. then i went back over to moms house and got my hair trimmed for my trip. shes leaving today, or already left. her and her bf in oklahoma city are goin motorcycle riding. hehe i dont see how that could be THAT much fun. my uncle is comin in today at like 11 pm but i probly wont see him tonight cuz im goin to sleep tonight at my moms house so i have to go there early. i want to see jaimie logan real bad too. i wanna see every1!!! im not gonna se them for at least three weeks :cry: well, i dont have nething else to say so ill post later or tomorrow!
ps...... my sn is bloodhound878 if u want to im me
best song i heard today: 50 cent/g unit my buddy
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| Get on my level! |
| 06.30.04 (7:46 pm) [edit] |
Hey!
Today I worked at parker's reesturaunt. I made $31!! woop! then i came home and i jus vegged...... i was lookin through this magazine and i came across a page that had something that made my day. Grand Theft Auto: san andreas comes out in october!!! Woohoo! those games are really, really funny shit. hahaha! Ummm, on monday, my buddy sean and his gf came over and we went to my dad's house and watched eurotrip. it was hilarious. i think i meight have to buy that movie. then we went to media play way over in aurora and i bought a cd. Trillville and lil scrappy !!!!! *jumps in the air* I've been waitin to get this for a long time. and its awesome too :-D. Then i went to parkers house, we went over to jaimie logan's house and met her and emily g there. we watched part of gothica, but we had to leave. so we went home, i spent the night, and went to work today. now im here and i dont gots nething else to say so ill post later.
Best song i heard today: Blink 182 Adam's Song
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| Hey! |
| 06.27.04 (3:04 pm) [edit] |
OMG im so bored today..... i did absolutely nothing. Im ungrounded tomorrow tho!! :D i have weight lifting in the morning then im gonna try to find some1 to do something with. Ummm then tuesday im goin to parker's house and wednesday morning we're gonna work again! WOOP! i need the dollars cuz im broke hehehe. dont got nething else to say so..... ill post later!
Best song i heard today: Cadillac Pimpin by Youngbloodz
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| Rain.......... Rain.......... |
| 06.25.04 (8:04 pm) [edit] |
It's raining! WHOOP! :lol: the only bad part of it is my mom cant cook my din din cuz we were gonna have hamburgers but the grill wont start. O well, The rain is worth it. Today i did absolutely nothing! Every body went to the movie theater and i had a chance to go w/ meagan, emily, shelby, and jaimie, but im grounded (FUCK!!!) i wanted to go so bad! but even if i wasnt grounded i dont have a ride, so i dont think i woulda been able to go neway but still, being grounded sucks dick! I think i might like meagan but i dont think she likes me bak :-/ but thatsokay i guess. Emily g. likes me or at least she did last week but i dont like her cuz of some bad things about her. If those things were different i might go out w/ her but...... hmm ill figure it out eventually i guess. neway i just talked to my football coach. hes in mexic w/ pops. dad is gettin marrried tomorrow! im excited for him. im jus kinda think he shoulda brought me but there was porbly reasons he didnt bring me. *shudder*
and im ina a half decent mood tonight. usually at night im all depressed and angry, but right now im fine! woop! hehe well ill post later or tomorrow.
Best song i heaerd today: Three 6 Mafia, Money didnt change me
Even tho i didnt know them, i get tears in my eyes still when i think about them sometimes. Rest in piece Micheal Budge, Tony Majestic, And Shawn Student. *tear*
Todd Stanfield: I hope u recover well. Good luck with everything.
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| Anger Management..... |
| 06.24.04 (8:29 pm) [edit] |
Im really mad again tonight. It mostly started when my comp started to not fucking work and then i broke my cell phone a little more b/c im fuckin stupid and.... ugh i dont have a way to let out my anger. i really dont want to do this nemore. i want to be happy :cry: i dont know why i am like this..... its not even all day.... its like my mood swings the opposite way awhen it gets dark (and i have no clue why) and then thats when i get a lil crazy. i always end up hitting something really hard like a piece of furniture or a door or sumthing and its jus gay b/c it jus hurts later.
Music helps too. Lke in my last post isaid i lestened to eminem a lot lately and the shit on that record really helps and i dunno why. Maybe its just cause im an agry person listenin to another angry person. lol ummm triple six is a good one to for my feelings. all about killing i guess.
Best song i heard today: Victory 2004: 50 cent, lloyd banks, p. diddy, B.I.G., and busta
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| *scratches head* |
| 06.24.04 (11:06 am) [edit] |
Theres this puzzle on the coffee table that mamma is doin and i sit down and of course its so tempting to try and help put it together. That is some haard shit! It's like of this lake and a trail w/ trees everywhere and a church that has a reflection on the lake. Its so confusing. But i got a piece!! wohoo!! *jumps in the air*
shes dont like 50 pussles haah cuz when ishe isnt working (in the basement) thats all she really has to do cuz she cant go newhere. but thtasokay i guess it looks like she enjoys doing them. :lol:
I've been waiting for my XXL magazine to come but it's never there twhen i check the mail. When i subscriebed the card thingy said to wait about 4-6 weeks and i think its been about 4 so i hope it gets here soon.
Im still grounded. That means i probly cant go to the movies tomorrow which sucks ass cuz a lot of ppl wanted me to come. I guess there wont be lots of ppl there because the funeral for the four boys that died last week is tomorrow (may they rest in peace) *tear*
I did a lot more thinking last night before i went to bed. jus about the same stuff. i got really mad at one point and beat the shit outta the dresser in my closet. My nuckles on my hand kinda hurt now, but itll heal i guess :-
i talked to emily male last night guess she really really likes her bf stefan cuz she wont shut the fuck upo about ihim (haha jk emily i luv u)
best song ive heard today: White America and these other 2 songs by Eminem (ive been listenin to a lot of him lately )
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